Fear of failure or fear of success?

January 31, 2014 Deals and Events
He found himself reflecting—not for the first time—on the peculiarity of adults. They took laxatives, liquor, or sleeping pills to drive away their terrors so that sleep would come, and their terrors were so tame and domestic: the job, the money, what the teacher will think if I can’t get Jennie nicer clothes, does my wife still love me, who are my friends. They were pallid compared to the fears every child lies cheek and jowl with in his dark bed, with no one to confess to in hope of perfect understanding but another child.

Stephen King, Salem’s Lot

This week, mostly due to recent events, I decided to explore the topic of fear, specifically fear of failure or of success. As a life coach, I am expected to easily spot such fears in others and in myself. I am also expected to know how one should overcome them. Let’s see if I do.

About half a year ago I was already planning how and when to leave my job and start my own business as a Business and Dating coach, while writing my books. For the record, I had an amazing job – management position right beneath the owners, who (God knows why) had full faith in me and let me take my own decisions. Good salary with bonuses and possibilities for pay raise. Flexible working time, travel, team of fun young people. I hope I am making it clear enough to see, this was a difficult decision. But the bottom line is, I really wanted to be a life coach and writer. And I really didn’t want to be Corporate Sales Manager anymore. So I knew in order to be happy, I had to do this.

Of course, life coaching is not an easy business to start. Obviously, it is low investment comparing to a friend that wanted to open a hotel, but how do you sell life coaching? Creating demand with life coaching basically meant that people should admit they are not entirely happy with their life and with themselves, and there are many people, who wouldn’t admit that. Even if we get them here, the concept of life coaching is still difficult to understand, for how can I not be entirely happy, if I already know what I have to do? I was afraid that people would doubt that and not buy it. I was afraid that even I, while wanting to do it and knew it was working, was not entirely buying it. I was terrified that I would fail, that I would crash and burn, not to mention all my friends, who completely supported this fear. So I did what anyone in my position would do. I sought validation by filling out an online application for The Apprentice UK.

At this point, I thought if the people of the people of Allan Sugar thought I may possibly, after lots of consideration, in spite of all, be worth a  250 000 GBP investment, then I may have a chance in succeeding with this thing after all. I was happy with this call and while waiting for their answer, I gave my notice, built my website, got certified and started advertising and practicing.

My business, still in its beginning, is currently going well. There are a few hiccups, but they are only making this more fun. I was just ready to congratulate myself for having created this, for having (still smaller then before, but relatively good) income from it, for seeing clearer and clearer with each day how to develop it and grow it, when The Apprentice UK e-mailed me an invitation for an interview. You might think at this point I jumped up and down with joy about their approval (even though thousands get to the first interview). Well, I was just about to jump and I realized I just left my job to do what I feel is right and I was already thinking of going to another interview? Yes, it was different, but was it really? Because going through three or four interviews over a month, living in a provided location with unknown people, having one call per week for one of your loved ones, being waken up by operators with cameras at 4 am, because you have to go to Dubai to sell pants, and winning not only 250 000 GBP investment, but also 50% partnership with one of the brightest minds in today’s business – well that sounds like a high paid job with a busy boss to me. And I was afraid of that. I mean, I want to make my business huge, but right that second I was happy one of my sessions got rescheduled, because I got to go to my yoga class. In this specific situation, I definitely had fear of success, at least of this kind of success. And accept my sincere apologies Lord Sugar, but I am afraid I am not interested in this position any longer.

And although I just had a rejection on one of my offers, I believe Blizzard to a Breeze is going to be a worldly renown brand, helping women all over be the happiest, most productive at work, most desired by men, amazing women that the human history has ever seen. Women, who can walk through their fears and get what they want, and feel satisfied, and have no regrets. Just like me right this second.

No big secret, huh? Just jump. Fear is only False Evidence Appearing Real.

Maya Sayvanova

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